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I have to be honest, I only even discovered this film because Michael Fassbender is in it. *Le Sigh*

Blood Creek (or to use its other title: Town Creek, which may well hold the unique distinction of being the first film to combine both one of the world’s most uninspiring film titles with the most unimaginative place name) falls into the category of so-bad-it’s-quite-entertaining. Not to be confused with the so-bad-it’s-good category, which is a much higher ranking category which this film does not grace.

If I had to sum up this film in a sentence it would be: Nazi necromancer in the mid west with undead horses, bone armour and mystic runes. Any film which plays the “Hitler and the occult” cliché is going to be gaily goose-stepping into the realm of silliness (that does NOT include Hell Boy, btw). And this film does just that.

It starts off (in black and white, so that we know it’s a flash-back) with Nazi-historian Fassbender turning up at the farm of some German-Americans. He has been sent there by the fuhrer because they have a rune stone which was left there by Pre-Columbus German explorers and which possesses occult powers. Namely: the ability to bring things back from the dead. Then we skip forward to a paramedic who is holding it together while his Alzheimers suffering father and sister-in-law blame him for the disappearance of his brother who went missing on a fishing trip to (you guessed it!) Town Creek!!! *Crash of thunder, flash of lightening, little rubber bats on elastic bouncing around with swastikas*

Then his brother turns up looking very rough and beady. They go off to Town Creek and discover the farm and…well you can fill in the blanks quite easily without my help. Big brother was being held hostage and used in necromantic rites for the past 2 years and he’s going back to seek revenge. This film is so silly there really is no point in going into the plot in any detail. Un-dead necromancer, occult-runes, killer-undead horses, botherly bonding with guns, etc, etc. One point of note is that the film ends with the main character setting off to find more of the nazi-undead with a map, scrawled with a swastika. So you know what that means! Well it’s three years later and there’s no sign of a sequel. Surprise! Bless them for their blind optimism. Come on guys. You made a film about Nazi necromancers in the mid-west of America – how much of a market was there going to be? Oh and your film was just awful.

Why is it awful? Well apart from the obvious silliness of the concept, the script is terrible, the scares are non-existent, the plot-exposition is daft, the best actor is hidden behind a latex mask and left to stalk around menacingly…menacing people and the effects are decidedly dodgy. It also takes itself far too seriously and as a result there are some terrible laugh out loud moments – such as the guy getting dragged out of the window by the undead horse with the glowing eyes.

It’s a reasonable way to kill an hour and a half if you want to be vaguely entertained by some horror silliness. That is honestly the best recommendation I can give this film.

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