Well I’ve been quiet the last few days – partially I have been recovering from Prometheus overload – but also I have been on a horror movie marathon.
So I finally watched ALL of the Paranormal Activity trilogy. In 2 days might I add. Not bad, huh? Frankly, I was a bit slow off the mark with this one. Five years slow off the mark to be precise – so there isn’t much point in me droning on with reviews and synopses – you all saw it before me. Well done you. But this gives me a great opportunity to trial a new feature for the blog. You’ve heard of flash fiction, right? Well now I’m introducing my latest innovation: the flash review! Yes that’s right, here are my 3 flash-reviews for the Paranormal Activity trilogy. Each review will be a maximum of
50 words! 100 words! (who was I trying to kid?!) Enjoy…
Paranormal Activity, 2007
After a series of strange occurrences Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah (Micah Sloat) set up video cameras in their home to monitor them as they sleep. The film is comprised of “documentary footage” of the terrifying events they experience, which slowly builds to a heart-stopping finale. This film is tense and totally gripping: your eyes will be glued to the screen. The characters are believable and well acted: a sympathetic couple with realistic flaws and motivations. This first offering oozes menace, one of the finest offerings from the mocumentary school of film-making. Watch alone. With the lights off.
Paranormal Activity 2, 2010
All hail the inevitable sequel to the sleeper hit of 2007. Does it suck? Yes, but not as badly as I was expecting. This time we follow Katie’s rich bitch sister, first time mum to the spawn of her sugar daddy husband. I find it hard to feel that sympathetic toward a family this spoilt. The father is boorish and Kristi is wet but kudos to Molly Ephraim and Abbie the German shepherd for being the best things about this movie. It isn’t scary. It isn’t tense. It isn’t worth bothering with, except for one little reason…
Paranormal Activity 3, 2011
Yes that’s right, the single best reason for subjecting yourself to Paranormal Activity 2, is so you can watch the prequel. This time we follow Kristi and Katie as young girls back in 1988 (the two young actresses are brilliant). Having learnt from the mistakes of number 2, the scares come thick and fast. Highpoints include: the baby sitter and the Bloody Mary sequence in the bathroom. My heart was pounding. This film suffers most from a very silly and clichéd ending, and it robs the series of some of its mystery. But one tantalising question remains: who is Toby.
So now I’m up to speed I can sit back and wait for the next instalment due out later this year. But on a finishing note, let me just say, anyone who thinks this gorgeous example of womanhood is fat…
…can go #!*@ a twiglet.