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I wasn’t going to turn up the opportunity to watch a horror film with Gary Oldman in it, despite the gratuitous arse shot on the poster:

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And basically that’s what this film boils down to. A load of airbrushed arse.

At its core The Unborn is your run-of-the-mill demon possession film. However, this turkey labours under the misconception that using a Jewish rather than Christian demonology will be enough to mark it out as original or even good. It doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t.

This film also employs the old ‘evil twin who died in the womb’ chestnut. And flings further silliness around – such as a Dr Mengele figure at Auschwitz, who is obsessed with eye-colour – in an attempt to disguise the fact that this film is actually incredibly dull. Oh and just to top it off, there’s a back story about an institutionalised mother who topped herself. Just ONE of these clichés would have been enough for the average horror film to build a story upon. But not The Unborn. In a spectacularly ballsed attempt to disguise the fact that the film makers didn’t have a bloody clue what they were doing, they decided to employ ALL of them.

Octogenarian contortionists, bull-dogs with silly masks on and a CGI baby floating about in embalming fluid constitute this film’s hopeless attempts at inflicting a touch of horror – and if you really think that this sounds intriguing – you can view all of these in the trailer. So why bother watching the film?

Don’t watch it. Just don’t. I have no idea why Gary Oldman is in this movie. It’s absolutely shocking – and not in a good way. Seriously, do not waste your time on this, it isn’t scary, or entertaining – it’s just stupid. Really stupid. Almost Chernobyl Diaries’ stupid – but not quite.

Come on – look at the poster! This film sells itself using its leading lady’s backside as its best feature. And frankly – that is a better thing to focus on than her acting. This film is so awful even Gary Oldman looked bad in it. Yes, it really is that terrible. Oi vey!

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