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ImageVinnie Jones plays perhaps the most camp psychopathic killer ever to be consigned to celluloid, as he struts around with his man bag in this turgid abomination of a film.

High on the type of unrealistic gore you would expect to see in an Itchy and Scratchy feature film and low on anything resembling a redeeming quality, this film stinks.

Vinnie scowls and swings a hammer around. Bradley Cooper lumbers from one scene to the next regurgitating the appalling script and resembling a post-lobotomy patient. Leslie Bibb pouts at the camera and gawps like a guppy for every cringe-inducing moment she spends on the screen.

What is most disturbing about this lazy Lovecraftian rip-off is that some people actually seem to like it. WTF is wrong with you? Seriously – a CGI eyeball flies out of a man’s face and a woman gets her head lopped off with a hammer – and you think this constitutes a good film?

This film is too boring to be memorable; too camp to be alarming; too cartoonish to be disturbing; too irritating to be likeable and too moronic to be forgiven.